Victim of the Game

He refused to sit down before the ladies were seated. The perfect gentleman.

"It's neat to get to marry your best friend," he said about her. Romantic "Awwww"s swept over the audience. "It felt like I was all of a sudden 10 times the man I'd ever been in my life." More "Awwww"s. The perfect husband.

Every night they have "Honesty Club" with their children, allowing the girls to speak their mind without fear of embarrassment or punishment in order to keep communication lines open. The perfect father.

And the worst part about it was, like a battered woman going back to bed with her abusive husband, I was actually letting myself fall for him. Again. The perfect deceiver.

On Valentine's Day, 2006, Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood sat on Oprah's couch and convinced the world that divorcing the mother of his children who had stuck with him through the hard times, and running off to marry the "other woman" was not only the romantic thing to do, but it was the right and noble thing as well.

Garth Brooks was, and, as much as I hate to admit it, probably still is, my favorite musical artist of all time. Which is why this demonstration was such a saddening experience for me. I didn't feel angry as much as I simply felt disheartened and betrayed. Betrayed because, during critical times in my life, I had been strongly influenced and inspired by the lyrics that Garth had sung. Not only had he sung them, but he had written them. To have written them was to have believed them himself. Or so I thought. Now it appears, everything he has ever written could have been hogwash.

"Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she's my only one?"

-- If Tomorrow Never Comes

"And as she walked away, I looked at my wife,
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life."

-- Unanswered Prayers

Well I'm shameless
When it comes to loving you.
I'd do anything you want me to.
I'd do anything at all.

-- Shameless

Shameless indeed. At least Garth didn't write that one (Billy Joel did). But do those sound like the words of a man who would ever consider divorce to be an option? If I told those things to a woman in private, I would be hard pressed to ever think of leaving her. But if I had whispered them, seemingly from the depths of my soul, or exclaimed them at the top of my lungs to people all across the world, as Garth did concert after concert for nearly a decade, I cannot fathom how I could ever act in such a way as to completely contradict everything I had ever crooned from the stage with the actions of my own life.

But for Garth, this sanctimonious display didn't end there. It seems he has made it his mission to justify his actions, not only to himself, but to his girls, his wife, and to the rest of the world. Touting his ex-wife's blessing of his marriage to Trisha was a smooth move. When asked what Sandy, his ex-wife, had to say about the upcoming nuptials, Garth said, "She looked at me and said two things which I'll never forget as long as I live. She said, 'It's about time.' … Then she said, 'This is a good move for you.'" When his children were posed with a similar question, the oldest girl, Taylor, said, "Dad, we love Trisha. If you're thinking about marrying her, we would be very happy."

Assuming all of that was true, which is not unreasonable considering Garth and Sandy were reportedly quite unhappy with each other in the latter years of their marriage, Sandy received a healthy chunk of Garth's wealth in the divorce, and Garth has made a serious effort to be a good father, even to the point of giving up his singing career during the kid's formative years, it still does not make Garth the romantic hero so many are making him out to be just because he bailed on his marriage. And it certainly doesn't excuse the hypocritical lyrics that he will no doubt continue to spout once he goes back on tour.

I suppose I should have been listening more closely when Garth sang these words, inches from Trisha's face back when he was still married to Sandy,

In another's eyes
I'm someone who
Loves her enough
To walk away from you
I'd never cheat
I'd never lie
In another's eyes.

-- In Another's Eyes

It's quite a deceptive song. Garth would have Sandy think the "another" and the "her" was Trisha. And he would have Trisha think that Sandy was represented by those words. But, in the end, they both knew he would cheat and lie, because he was doing it right in front of their faces. So who was the last to be discovered the fool? Me. The fan. I always gave Garth the benefit of the doubt. I believed him and I believed in him. And when he sang of the virtues of heroes like Cowboy Bill and the strength it takes to stand outside the fire and "forsake it all" for the chance love might exist, it solidified my faith in the integrity of my own boyhood hero. I thought he would never cheat. I thought he would never lie. I thought wrong.

It is somewhat ironic that, just as the seedlings of the Garth/Sandy/Trisha love triangle were sprouting, both Garth and Trisha recorded this song on each of their own individual records to warn me of the upcoming disillusionment I would one day face:

Well, it took a little time,
But I guess you finally learned
That promises get broken,
And bridges do get burned.
You've been siftin' through the ashes
Just tryin' to find a flame.
Holdin' on to nothin',
You're a victim of the game.

You were standin' way too close
To see it all fall apart.
And there were things you couldn't hear
'Cause you were listenin' with your heart.
But you can't say I didn't warn you.
Now there's no one else to blame.
There's no one quite as blind
As a victim of the game.

And it don't matter who you are.
It treats everyone the same.
All you need's a heart
To be a victim of the game.

-- Victim of the Game

And now, here I am, still a victim of the game. Still in love with the songs. Still eagerly willing to buy every album Garth Brooks releases. Still scouring through Karaoke song lists for any Garth Brooks song available. Still a believer in the lyrics' message. But it was a sad day when I had to say goodbye to my belief in the man behind the message.

So let me enlighten Oprah, the fans, and anyone else out there who might still have a bit of wool over their eyes. As it turns out, Garth Brooks is not the hero he has been made out to be. He's just an ol' cowboy, and with a cowboy,

What you see is what you've got,
And he can't be what he's not.
--What'cha Gonna Do With A Cowboy?

There. I said it.

Same old story
That everybody knows.
It's one heart holdin' on,
One letting go.

-- Same Old Story